Heavy Heart

I had plans to post Friday Letters today but that doesn't even matter now after hearing news of the horrific shooting that occurring in Connecticut. How could someone even think about hurting innocent children & adults? I had to turn off the news because I just couldn't watch. My heart aches for the children, teachers, staff & parents. My thoughts & prayers go out to everyone affected by this horrible tragedy.

 

 



Three Years

To My Precious Daddy--

 

This day will always be one of the hardest days of my life. I remember this day like it was yesterday & here today it's been three years since I last seen you. I remember getting up that morning getting ready to visit you in the hospital where days prior you were awake, talking, & watching the bears game with mom & I,  we left that day with hope. Hope that you were getting better & would be able to come home soon with us. Harsh reality hit when I got a phone call from mom saying that you took a turn for the worst, that you were fighting for your life. I still to this day don't get how everything happened that you were awake and talking days prior and then all of a sudden you are hooked up to a machine breathing for you, I still don't get it. Some days I can't wrap my head around that you are gone, I really cant. There are days where I just want to fall to the ground and cry, but I don't because I have to be strong for myself and for mom. I have my moments where I do cry when thinking about you not being here, but it doesn't last long because I think of all the times it was you, mom & I and I laugh because we always had a good time together. They say with time it will get easier & yes in a way it does but most of it's a lie because the pain of missing you will always be there, that will never go away. I have not one single regret about dropping out of high school to take care of you, most people thought that was the stupidest thing I have done, but I don't. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do, I needed to be with you. We spent every moment together for 3 years & I cling to the memories we shared together. I still wake up sometimes to go look for you to be sitting in your recliner, drinking your coffee, & waiting for me to wake up. Then reality hits that will never be and it hits me like a ton of bricks. There are days I think that all of this isn't fair,  it's not fair that you ever got sick that day in June seven years ago, it's not fair I lost a part of my father I once knew that day, that our world turned upside down when we found out you lost your speech to a stroke, that you missed me getting my GED a month after your passing even though I know you were there and so so proud of me, that I will not have my father walking me down the aisle and giving me away on my wedding day like I always dreamed about, that you are missing birthdays, anniversaries & holidays, that my mother lost her husband and me losing my father, sometimes it's just not fair. Today & every day I remember you dad, you. I will never ever forget you & the father you were to me. I promise to take care of mom & to make you proud. I miss you so much it hurts & I love you more than you know.

 

Love Always & Forever,

 

Your Katie baby 

Friday Letters

Linking up with Ashley today for Friday Letters.

 

 

 

Dear Blog,

 I apologize for nelecting you again, whoops.

 

 

Dear My Lovely Followers,

Thanks for sticking around :) I know I said I was back last time but I promise this time I really am. Sometimes I just feel like no one wants to read about my boring life hah.

 

 

Dear Everything Christmas In My House Right Now,

I really love looking at you, you really get me in the Christmas mood :)

 

 

Dear The Bachelor aka Sean Lowe,

January 7th can't come soon enough, I can't wait to watch your love story :) Oh and you're not bad to look at either ;)

 

 

Dear Three Day Weekend,

I've been looking forward to you for weeks, I'm so glad you're here!

 

 

Dear My Daddy,

Your anniversary is approaching and I'm not looking forward to it, I miss you so.

 

 

Happy Friday Ladies!! Enjoy your weekend!! :)